we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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