awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
