Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
