u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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