THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
