that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize