is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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