I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
