woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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