I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize