I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
