turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Semen is not good for contacts.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
