If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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