spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
