It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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