margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
