Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize