College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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