let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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