I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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