I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
