He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
