well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
