Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
