I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
