Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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