I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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