Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
