I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
