absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
