Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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