I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
