dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
