Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
