I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
A bitchslap is in order.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
