Buhtt sex?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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