does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
