feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
