Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Having a random hookup so left but love u
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize