A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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