I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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