just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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