Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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