4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
