Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
