What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I need water and some morals
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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