we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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