If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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