im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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