what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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