my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
