i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He uses pillows to masturbate.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
