Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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