So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
