walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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