You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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