Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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