I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Alive.
So much puke
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
