my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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