he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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