I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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