Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
