didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize