Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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