She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
