the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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