i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
