i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
