I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
