oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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