and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
