we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
