do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize